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Libertarian Party Nominates Giant Gay Bong


WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Libertarian Party has concluded its convention and nominated its latest presidential candidate: a 20-foot-tall, rainbow-colored, glass bong.

The gay, oversized marijuana smoking device edged out candidates RFK Jr., Donald Trump, and Sparklepaws the Transgender Furry to secure the coveted nomination to run for President this November.

"Never has the Libertarian Party chosen a candidate that better represents its values, ambitions, and intellect," said Party Chair Angela McArdle while tripping on the complimentary edibles that were passed out at the convention. "I think it's even possible our beautiful glass candidate could secure up to .03% of the vote this year!"

McArdle's proclamation was met with a chorus of boos from people in the crowd who thought .03% was a little too much, making the glass bong too mainstream for their liking.

The large rainbow-striped, cannabis water pipe is running on a platform of ending the Fed, lowering taxes, and aborting kids, transing kids, giving drugs to kids, and letting unaccompanied kids cross the southern border.

At publishing time, The Libertarian Party had sought to withdraw the nomination after it was revealed their new candidate wasn't interested in eliminating age of consent laws.

After a contentious seven rounds of voting on Sunday, the Libertarian Party nominated Chase Oliver, a gay sales account executive and former U.S. Senate candidate, to run in the 2024 presidential election.

Oliver will represent America’s third largest political party, whose endorsement had been solicited by the leading Republican and Independent candidates, Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

emby wrote: ↑Wed May 29, 2024 8:11 pm

After a contentious seven rounds of voting on Sunday, the Libertarian Party nominated Chase Oliver, a gay sales account executive and former U.S. Senate candidate, to run in the 2024 presidential election.

Oliver will represent America’s third largest political party, whose endorsement had been solicited by the leading Republican and Independent candidates, Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Sounds woke.


The Babylon Bee wasn't that far off lol

kaimaru wrote: ↑Wed May 29, 2024 9:54 pm

emby wrote: ↑Wed May 29, 2024 8:11 pm

After a contentious seven rounds of voting on Sunday, the Libertarian Party nominated Chase Oliver, a gay sales account executive and former U.S. Senate candidate, to run in the 2024 presidential election.

Oliver will represent America’s third largest political party, whose endorsement had been solicited by the leading Republican and Independent candidates, Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Sounds woke.


The Babylon Bee wasn't that far off lol

Depends how fragile he is and if guys suck on his ass while putting a lighter under his balls

SaggyBallZ wrote: ↑Mon Jun 24, 2024 4:49 pm

Buc2 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 24, 2024 4:02 pm

Depends on what you consider huge. What you said is a false statement in my case. Yes, the feds will tax about 75% of my SS wages as long as I'm earning over their threshold. After that, I can earn however much I want with no tax. In the meantime, I will be putting close to a $100K in the bank that I wouldn't have if I wait until I stop working. For me, that's worth a few additional tax dollars. I did a cost/benefit analysis and found that I'd have to live until I was about 78 before I'd hit the breakeven point where I'd have earned more in SS wages then I am by taking it earlier. If I live that long, well halleluiah and amen! If not, I had more money in my retirement than I would have had by waiting.

At the end of the day, you do you, I'll do me.

P.S. Considering the, often, incoherentness of many of your posts, I think you can forgive my occasional typos.

In 47 years when i get to be your age Im hitting you up for how you did that calculation. It seems really good